Waiting for life to begin

And what are we waiting for? 

I look back and realize I did not wait for a lot during my life. I was married and had a daughter before 16. I have lived in different places, including Paris France. People thought I was crazy to do some of what I did but I had faith I was being led where I was supposed to go. We can always change course and move in another direction, but we can't undo not doing something. 

So, waiting for??? A special invitation? Make your own!

Enjoy, create, ethics and learning

This single post covers a lot of ground in a very short area. I will say what I think about each area and how it is in my life, I hope you at least think about each in yours.

If we could always enjoy what we do/create, the world would be a much better place and we would be happier. 

I seemed to have my nose stuck in a book a lot of the time, when it was not, I was outside exploring nature around me. Probably why I need it in my life now. 

The friends? I was never one to make a lot of friends. I seem to make them on line easy enough... but not in real life. I tend to push people away. Partly because my BS meter is non-tolerant. Partly because I expect people to do what they say and if they don't, well...I don't stick around for a lot more. I also say what I think which often gets me in lots of hot water. I don't have a great filter before it exits the mouth I guess. 

Ethical... yes. Speak the truth, be a good example, follow your faith. I really don't need to continue, you get the idea.

Never stop learning. If we do anything other than set in a dark room and do nothing we should always be picking up something. TV is full of things to learn, books, outside, our jobs...our life in general. Often we don't pay attention that we are learning, or maybe we are not 'seeing or hearing' to learn. 

Yes, a great deal was said in a very small space...and what did you think?

Prayer and positive attitude!

Ok, I would like a miracle as well, but I am pretty sure that is not going to happen, thus, I need the prayer because I really need the positive attitude! 

A vicious circle. Easy to stay positive when all is going well and things are good. Let things go wrong and that positive attitude disappears quickly enough. I will admit I try. Even when things are going wrong, I stop and try and find something good that is going on. 

Then are those moments when I feel like everything is just piling up, all I have to do is huge and I am not making any headway, barely treading water. I am sick of doing the same things, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, taking care of everything and everyone...where is someone to take care of me? Do I let them when they try? Or am I wanting them to do something else. Not the thing they are offering to do to help, but no, I have that, something else. 

Where are you at in this circle?  Any of this sound familiar??

Unfolding

Are you a fixer? A peacemaker? I am. It has taken a lot of years and a lot of practice to let things unfold and not trying to fix something. I still have my moments of fixing...hoping things will be better. It is also very frustrating to just let things unfold. Often it takes much more faith than I have at that moment. Another place that I need to work on, faith. Some days it just is easier than others. Today my friends, is not one of them.

Moments

I was sitting here looking through all different posts trying to think what to write about. Then I saw this one. (Laughing) I still don't have something to write about, but it did stop me and push my thoughts in all directions. 

How do you talk about moments that you cannot put into words? Do you ever have a smell bring about a memory, or moment if you want to compare the two? A texture that reminds you of other memories? See someone that reminds you of someone else or another time? A song is often attached to a 'moment'. 

Our lives are filled with moments... but how many moments are missed because we are too busy to notice something or our minds are elsewhere and we go through the day as if in a fog. When I see the phrase "Live each moment as if it were your last" or "Stop and smell the roses" I am jarred into realizing I am far from doing that. I feel like I have often lost whole days, or look back and wonder where the month went. 

I think we all need to slow down 'somehow' and make more of our moments count. I am sure if we did that, we would have many more moments that we could not put into words. My goal is to at least try and catch more moments each day...before it is too late. What about you?

A special day today

Today is my daughter's birthday.  It doesn't seem possible that 47 years ago at 6:47 p.m. a perfect little girl was born weighing 8 pounds and 9 oz, 22 inches long. I can still remember that first time holding her and how special her father and I thought she was (and still is). She was my only child and she in turn gave us a perfect granddaughter. 

Of course none of us are perfect but don't we always think they are when they are so tiny and dependent?  We worry if we will do the right thing, pray they will turn out and not make the same mistakes we did growing up. That their life will be wonderful and free from problems and everything will be just right for them. We want so much for them, not always able to put into words those wishes and all of that love. 

She has overcome so many obstacles in her life, being for the most part a single mom, college, work and a long list of things that always seem to bombard all of us that we hope and pray will spare our children. I remember being totally awed that she painted her house, (on the outside) by herself...something I would have found way too overwhelming to tackle. 

As I move into my 'autumn years' I realize how much I would have loved to tell her, things I wish we could have done together. I also know how much I have missed over the years and realize I cannot have any of that time back. I look at my own mother, soon to be 81 and wonder if she felt any or all of what I do about my daughter. 

Life passes all too quickly and we do the best we can at the time and pray that what we do is the best thing. I would love to have more time with her, do more things with her... but life seems to get in the way. I know she is dealing with her own doubts and insecurities about her daughter, probably going through some of the same emotional things I am about her. 

As I walk down this memory lane, I hope that she is having the best birthday ever and wish we could have spent it together. I wish her a wonderful birthday and a fantastic year ahead and that I love her very much. 

One of those days

I am definitely having one of those days. I would love it to be a day of silence, but, I have a ton of things to do and I am still trying to 'get moving'. 

We ended up getting around 5" of snow yesterday, just when I thought maybe I could get out in the yard and do some work. Back to shoveling, snow boots and winter coat. I am so over winter, yet it keeps showing back up. 

It reminds me of the upstairs. I go up, work for a couple of hours trying to find some space; but each time I go up I feel like I am back where I started. I joined a group on facebook called 40 bags in 40 days. I actually got rid of 53 bags so far... and yes, I can see a small dent, but the rooms are still not usable for either crafts or sleeping. I need enough space to be able to shift all of the items so I can find what I want and know where everything is...and have space to work. It will happen but not in the time frame I want, which is today. 

Maybe I need a day of silence. Get the priorities where they need to be for me. I am not even sure what they are and where they should be. Like all things in life, they change daily in different areas. I hope you are having a good day. I have to just have faith the day will improve. 

Nourishing your Soul

What nourishes your soul? Have you ever given it any thought? I did. When I first moved to France I realized that I needed nature to do that. Animals, trees, water, flowers, crickets, frogs... sights, sounds and smells. The smell of the earth out in the woods. Gardening. 

I tried taking photos, having houseplants, walking through parks but it just was not the same. I needed quiet with nature sounds. The best substitute I could find were some of those nature sound CD's and listening to them during quiet meditation time. 

We each have a soul that needs something only you can know and give. But we have to listen to our inner voice that tells us what we need. Listen to and follow that voice. It will lead you to peace within. 

I have to say, I feel like this is talking to me.  I was just looking at what I had posted the last couple of times and thought... "OMG, I am so behind on this, but life has just gotten in the way." To my own defense I do have a house and yard to take care of, still digging through boxes and getting rid of things. Up until 2 weeks ago mom was living here, but she fell, broke her leg (at 80!) and is now in a nursing home to heal and rehabilitate. So I spend a couple hours a day there. The house was too quiet with her gone so ended up going to the local animal control and picked up 2 cats and a dog, bringing the pet total to 6 if you count the 2 birds. I am also trying to get into my crafts again, both to make and sell which takes time. 

Life is always calling us... often in many directions at the same time. Are we listening? Do we take time to notice the birds singing? The leaves coming out in the spring... rustling in the breeze, turning in the fall and falling, the changes all around us each day? 

Today the snow if falling, I noticed the floors need a good vacuuming, laundry is piling up again but I also noticed that I am at peace with a purring cat or a dog asleep in my lap while I read a chapter in a good book. I am thankful for what God provides and that mom is healing, that I woke up feeling good and life may not always be calling the way I want, but it is definitely calling!!