Thursday, April 20, 2017

I have always loved the smell of rain, the sound of thunder, the pitter patter of the drops hitting. BUT on a cold day (44F) there is not a lot to like I think. It is cold and damp. I am cold. I keep adding clothes and can't seem to get warm. 

I had planned to go out today and do some errands. Try and get a new SIM card for my phone and see if we can get it working. Go to the yarn shop and feast my eyes on all of the colors and textures... while looking for something that will go with the wools I have for weaving. Stop and pick up some onion sets for the garden. Instead I am just trying to get warm and want to stay home. 

I am sure it is my attitude. It changed last night when I got into the old phone of hubby's and found some unpleasant reminders of life before. When someone dies they don't think about what will be left behind for those who love them to find. Separate lives for one. No passwords for two. In this day and age of technology passwords are needed. Those who love me know where to find mine to take care of every day accounts, etc. Phones, computers, Ipads, everything that needs a password. I have managed to now erase everything in both the ipad and phone. The computer guy did that for me with the computer, to the point he got rid of things I wanted. :( But, it worked after. I am hoping that for the phone. It is older, still smart I guess...will find that out when I get out and go somewhere for a card and see if it is locked or we can unlock it. I also need to see about a better attitude for today and forward. Coffee. I will start with a nice warm fresh cup of coffee and go from there. Have a great day. May your attitude be better than mine is today! ;) 

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Reality often sucks. What a way to start the post, but it often does. I look at commercials, magazines, Facebook, it seems all have it together for the dress up for Easter morning, family dinner, house is clean, eggs are colored... Me? None of the above. Often I have enough problems figuring out what to make for a regular lunch and then dinner without it being a special one. I will get to church, I hope, but beyond that, zilch. Life got complicated when mom got dementia and moved in. Then another step down when she broke her leg and doesn't get around well at all. We will skip the incontinence problems.

Last year, the end of  February I had to put my little dog down. March 18 mom fell and broke her leg. We now have more help with her, but that means more people in and out while I am trying to get other things done. This year, her little dog died this month on the 10th. Then the next day she fell. Luckily for all of us she was okay. I had horrible flash backs to last year and feeling like it was happening all over again. This year she can't get into the van. I can't get 2 wheelchairs into the car. (SIGH.) Thought how wonderful it would be not to worry about cooking a special dinner for the day. I have already realized no candy, no cards, no colored eggs. Easter just missed me this year with the exception of meatless/fasting Fridays which should have clued me in that it was coming. It didn't.

Overdid working in the garden and pulling things out of the basement. Hurt the back again. Was in to the chiropractor 2 days in a row last week. I really think I have gotten old without realizing it. Body does not cooperate with speed or stamina. Age has always been a number for me. I think it is sinking that number means getting old.

I NEED that fairy godmother. Zap, clean house. Zap, garden/yard is cleaned and going. Zap, special dinner. Zap, massage for the aching back. So, yes, right now reality sucks. That all said, I hope you have a Happy Easter. Eat some chocolate for me, I forgot to buy any. Zap.