Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Status quo

The garden is in. The yard is coming along. Two summers of working hard to try and 'catch up' are showing results. I wish I could say more for the house. I still have boxes that need to be gone through and gotten rid of as there is still way TOO much stuff here.

 Mom has been in the nursing home since March 23. She will be home July 1. The routine of the house has changed since she was here and will have to change again when she returns. Right now I don't bother with meals at regular times, sleeping at regular times, I can run all errands in a single day because I don't have to worry about her being alone (which she cannot be). All that will change and a fairly rigid routine will again be put in place. 

She has dementia. Dementia demands a routine or problems arise. I like routines for short periods. Not everyday, all day, all week, all month. I like change, surprise, flexibility to move the schedule. Not when she is home. I did not realize how much of a schedule was in place until it was at least 1 1/2 months after she was gone I was still doing the same things. When I realized that, all changed! The type and number of animals in the house changed. Meals changed. Cleaning routines changed. Almost everything I can think of changed. I think I may have caused myself more problems by changing so much because when she is back, it needs to be the old routine or close to it. 

Perhaps I will find comfort in the old routines and actually accomplish more in short periods. No more of this working for days to get something I really wanted done completed and them being sore and tired for a couple days after. I am not sure how productive that type of working really is. So...with the routines will return a certain status quo. I hope the peace comes with it.

Monday, June 13, 2016

It is raining!

Again. I had planned to get out and mow today. Not happening. I did not totally get the plants in I brought home yesterday. Not happening. Needed to knock out some weeds. Again, not happening. 

Guess I will get caught up here, do the budget items, pay bills, maybe wash down the cupboard and after running into town perhaps I can do some painting on it. Sounds good in theory. 

We do need the rain but it seems to always mess up my plans for the day. Must have a backup plan. I consistently have enough things going on inside that I can find "something" to do. Usually much more than I can ever get done on a given day or two. And then there are the books set aside for a rainy day. I will just have to take my pick!

Thursday, June 9, 2016


Hope. Something we all have at least at times. Some have it all the time, some drop into depression and despair and feel hope has left them. It will come back. Be patient, have faith, dream and hope returns.

What does the dictionary say about it? To want or wish for with a feeling of confident expectation. A wish or desire accompanied by expectation of its fulfillment. Something wished. One that gives cause for hope. 

For me it is indeed those things, but also something deeper. Perhaps because it goes with faith for me. I tend to hope for things for others more than myself on a deeper level. For myself I have a faith that things will work out and all will end up as it is supposed to be. As I think about it I do find I use that word when expressing things about 'things'. I hope the weather cooperates. I hope the car runs ok... etc. 

That is one one level, but on a much deeper level it is just there, mixed with faith. I guess that is why they say those three words, hope and love. All a topic on their own. 
How do you look at hope? 

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Not all who wander...

This saying has has a strong meaning for me and has for a long time.

I tend to wander. Home to home. Job to job. Country to country. Even in my personal life. Something drives me to move on. Walk away. 

Right now I am back where I started from, small town in northern lower Michigan. Enjoying being back in the old family home I grew up in. Have a garden, pets. 

I can feel lost right where I am, but not normally when I wander. I have often wondered why I seem different, not wanting to 'stay put' and live this same life day after day. I have often wondered that, but not figured out why. More now I tend to just wander about the yard or house. Looking, feeling, thinking, listening. Listening to that voice inside that is my soul, talking to me...letting me know how I feel. 

What about you? Relate or not...doesn't mean good/bad either way, just is. Just curious. Just wandering in my mind...

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Problems and attitudes

I understand this on one side, on the other no. The problem is the problem, which is, professional people 'not following through'. I live in a small town. There are limited people (who are good) who do plumbing, landscaping, carpentry, etc. 

I am going to vent a bit here. Mom is in a nursing home and will be coming home hopefully end of the month. The first step in what we have to change is having a plumber come and work in the shower area. Today is the third?? day at least I have been waiting for him to show, no call, no show. Great guy, very good, and I know he is busy, but I have things I need to get done also. I can't do them if I am setting in the house waiting for a phone call/him to show up. I have reworked my schedule many times and my frustration level with 'professionals' who you hire to do a job 'tend to blow you off'. At least that is what it feels like. What happened to the common courtesy of a phone call saying "I will be late, I can't get there today, etc."? I try to have a good attitude about this, but more and more I am running into this 'problem' and wonder if it is just the old ways of keeping the customer happy and common courtesy have gone by the wayside. 

When I lived in France I ran into this 'problem' all of the time and people would say, welcome to France, because it is typical there. I am hearing now that they are trying to promote the attitude of customer satisfaction now, because of the amount of business turnover and unhappy customers there are.  

Is this something you are experiencing in your area? Should I be changing my attitude to accept this? Personally I don't think so, but times do change. Perhaps loss of follow-through, common courtesy and respect for other's time is something that has changed. Not for the better obviously. 

Saturday, April 30, 2016


The age of the computer has made things easy... unless that is you are using a program that does not have auto correct. That in itself brings its own hosts of problems, auto correct. The other problem I have is trying to look up the word I can't spell. Hmmmm. How do you find the word in the dictionary when you are not spelling it correctly?  I especially had that problem when working in the medical world. Medical terminology never is spelled like it sounds. Of course to spell things like they sound you must pronounce them correctly. 
I have gotten rid of most of the dictionaries, figure most of the time the computer will tell me, or, I can go to Google and type in something close. Then it asks..."Did you mean....." and I know I have found my word. I burst out laughing at the above post though... and thought of all the times I have done just that. 

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Pure joy

Every time I pass by this photo in my folder I feel happy. Today, with little sleep and having again to go 1 1/2 hours for an appointment I need to feel happy. 

Such pure joy radiates from that little person in the basin. How much fun! When was the last time we experienced that much joy in something we did?  Isn't it about time to try???

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Lessons to be learned from a Pencil.

We can learn all kinds of lessons from life. The above is just an example with word play.  The trick is to pay attention to what is happening and what you are learning, while putting it in a positive way. Not always easy, in fact, rarely it is easy. It does get easier with practice. Again, as with writing, it gets easier the more you do it. Pay attention to what is going on in your life today and start practicing!

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Advice from a hummingbird

What great advice from a little bird. We often take ourselves too seriously. It is not always about us but what is happening around and to us with others. Every moment of every day is different. Be sure to saveur each one. They won't come around again!

Friday, April 22, 2016


Have you ever noted your dreams? Not those that happen during sleep, but what you dream of happening... It may be a good idea to try this. You can always change them later, but writing them down and each year go through them. See how many you have accomplished, which ones you no longer want to aspire to and add new ones. Give it some thought. If they are written down, perhaps we would try harder to make them come true.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

What it takes...

Three words which say a huge amount. They are all intertwined. Without one chances are you will not have the other two. Stop and think about it. I look at any of the three and without that one, the other two would not be. 

Many of us have gone through things that others think, I could not have done that. But we never know what we can really do until we are put to the test. I personally think faith should be listed as well. With faith, the other three are easier to bear. 

If you have gone through things and come out the other side, be grateful and thankful. If you are going through something now, hold on, keep the faith. Strength, Endurance and Courage will get you through this. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016


Such a simple word but it means so much. It is something I hope everyone who comes over to my home or visits my pages or blogs feels... welcome. 

It actually means:  1. To greet or extend hospitality cordially to. 2. To accept willingly or gladly, a warm greeting or reception. 3. Willingly invited or allowed. 4. Used in the phrase "you're welcome"  to acknowledge thanks.

It goes back to a post I did earlier about hospitality. I don't expect people to always wait to be invited over, many times people just drop by. 

When I go somewhere I hope to feel welcome. If I don't, I do not go back. Simple. 

What are some ways you make others feel welcome? 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Your day, how to make it better.

1. Make a list of things that make you happy.
2. Make a list of things you do every day.
3. Compare the lists.
4. Adjust accordingly.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Life and memory...

Ha!!  I have a terrible memory for names, that includes book titles, authors, tv programs...and it can continue. Someone will ask me about what kind of car someone drives, red pickup. Beige car. A small blue car. Semi. That covers it for me. Color and maybe size. 

Mom used to own a used bookstore. People really do come in and say things like that. She also had other things, gift items. Her sign said: If your child breaks/ruins it, you buy it. She could remember titles and authors by color also, especially the popular ones. She also could remember out of all of her many books if she had certain authors. 

When you deal with others in your life, expect to have to help them at times. No one remembers everything all the time. Don't be ashamed if you don't remember, others may be able to help you. If you are on the good memory side, be ready to help out. Life is about giving and the little moments. Be a part of them! 

Sunday, April 17, 2016

This so reminded me of living in France. You are headed off in a car that you rented, in a country you don't know, depending on signs to tell you where you are going. Well, it is NOT happening. The signs tell you where you are not going. They don't tell you that the place you want is so many kilometers away and you are heading in the right direction. Nope, they say you are not heading toward a certain place.
This series of signs tells you are stuck right where you are. Can't go back, left, right or forward. Some circumstances are like that. You feel stuck where you are, emotionally and physically. Trying to deal with an addiction, trying to lose weight, trying to get out of a bad relationship... and on and on. 
But life is not regulated by a series of signs. YOU make the choices and you do the work to move on. If you are willing to make a move, do the CAN move on in any direction. Please don't make that direction backwards!

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Your story

I am not sure I would have believed this in the past, but I do now. Curiously, the more you tell your story the more it seems to help as well as you work through things with the telling. There were stories that I could not get through without crying in the past. Now, only the recent hurts bring tears, the older things I can talk about freely. 

When you tell your story there is always someone who relates with it and you help by telling. Something else I would not have believed in the past was there were others who had gone through what I have. Not only are there others who have gone through the same thing, you can always find someone who has gone through something even worse. 

So when you think you are all alone and there is not anyone who will understand, WRONG.  There is someone out there who will understand and you are never alone. It may take some work to find them, find a support group, talk with your pastor, friends, get that story out. It is part of who you are and if you keep it hidden, you never really know yourself. We not only hide things from others but ourselves as well. How can you really know who you are and become who you are meant to be if you are hiding parts of yourself?

Friday, April 15, 2016

Choosing Happiness

It is interesting how easy a negative thought in the morning can ruin your entire day. They tend to sneak up on you and before you know it you are in a funk. I try and start each morning by getting out of bed and in my sleepy fog, try and find something good to think about while waking up. I take care of the pets, get dressed and get on my pages each morning on FB. Then I try and do at least one blog. My one page, Smoothing Ragged Edges (also a blog the same but with different posts) is all entirely positive. That is really where I get my mind in order and try and keep it there for the day. A few days ago I posted a post about enjoying the journey. It helped me through that day as I had a trip for the day to make. Yesterday, I was in a hurry to get things done and the subject of lunch came up. I really wanted to go home and work in the yard, but the thought came through, "enjoy the journey"... so we went to lunch. Had a great lunch and I relaxed, laughed and had a great time and a great rest of the day. Nothing got done except the errands but I did enjoy the day. When I saw this post this morning I thought about yesterday and decided, yes, we can choose happiness if we let ourselves. I hope something that I have related to you today helps you in choosing happiness for your day!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Peaceful and calming

I kept coming back to this photo as just looking at it brought me some calm. I have a rather long day today and maybe this post is trying to tell me to just go with it, relax, enjoy the day what ever it is. It will make it a better day for all involved if I do that!! I hope this helps you today...

Monday, April 11, 2016

Waiting for life to begin

And what are we waiting for? 

I look back and realize I did not wait for a lot during my life. I was married and had a daughter before 16. I have lived in different places, including Paris France. People thought I was crazy to do some of what I did but I had faith I was being led where I was supposed to go. We can always change course and move in another direction, but we can't undo not doing something. 

So, waiting for??? A special invitation? Make your own!

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Enjoy, create, ethics and learning

This single post covers a lot of ground in a very short area. I will say what I think about each area and how it is in my life, I hope you at least think about each in yours.

If we could always enjoy what we do/create, the world would be a much better place and we would be happier. 

I seemed to have my nose stuck in a book a lot of the time, when it was not, I was outside exploring nature around me. Probably why I need it in my life now. 

The friends? I was never one to make a lot of friends. I seem to make them on line easy enough... but not in real life. I tend to push people away. Partly because my BS meter is non-tolerant. Partly because I expect people to do what they say and if they don't, well...I don't stick around for a lot more. I also say what I think which often gets me in lots of hot water. I don't have a great filter before it exits the mouth I guess. 

Ethical... yes. Speak the truth, be a good example, follow your faith. I really don't need to continue, you get the idea.

Never stop learning. If we do anything other than set in a dark room and do nothing we should always be picking up something. TV is full of things to learn, books, outside, our jobs...our life in general. Often we don't pay attention that we are learning, or maybe we are not 'seeing or hearing' to learn. 

Yes, a great deal was said in a very small space...and what did you think?

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Prayer and positive attitude!

Ok, I would like a miracle as well, but I am pretty sure that is not going to happen, thus, I need the prayer because I really need the positive attitude! 

A vicious circle. Easy to stay positive when all is going well and things are good. Let things go wrong and that positive attitude disappears quickly enough. I will admit I try. Even when things are going wrong, I stop and try and find something good that is going on. 

Then are those moments when I feel like everything is just piling up, all I have to do is huge and I am not making any headway, barely treading water. I am sick of doing the same things, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, taking care of everything and everyone...where is someone to take care of me? Do I let them when they try? Or am I wanting them to do something else. Not the thing they are offering to do to help, but no, I have that, something else. 

Where are you at in this circle?  Any of this sound familiar??

Friday, April 8, 2016


Are you a fixer? A peacemaker? I am. It has taken a lot of years and a lot of practice to let things unfold and not trying to fix something. I still have my moments of fixing...hoping things will be better. It is also very frustrating to just let things unfold. Often it takes much more faith than I have at that moment. Another place that I need to work on, faith. Some days it just is easier than others. Today my friends, is not one of them.

Thursday, April 7, 2016


I was sitting here looking through all different posts trying to think what to write about. Then I saw this one. (Laughing) I still don't have something to write about, but it did stop me and push my thoughts in all directions. 

How do you talk about moments that you cannot put into words? Do you ever have a smell bring about a memory, or moment if you want to compare the two? A texture that reminds you of other memories? See someone that reminds you of someone else or another time? A song is often attached to a 'moment'. 

Our lives are filled with moments... but how many moments are missed because we are too busy to notice something or our minds are elsewhere and we go through the day as if in a fog. When I see the phrase "Live each moment as if it were your last" or "Stop and smell the roses" I am jarred into realizing I am far from doing that. I feel like I have often lost whole days, or look back and wonder where the month went. 

I think we all need to slow down 'somehow' and make more of our moments count. I am sure if we did that, we would have many more moments that we could not put into words. My goal is to at least try and catch more moments each day...before it is too late. What about you?

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

A special day today

Today is my daughter's birthday.  It doesn't seem possible that 47 years ago at 6:47 p.m. a perfect little girl was born weighing 8 pounds and 9 oz, 22 inches long. I can still remember that first time holding her and how special her father and I thought she was (and still is). She was my only child and she in turn gave us a perfect granddaughter. 

Of course none of us are perfect but don't we always think they are when they are so tiny and dependent?  We worry if we will do the right thing, pray they will turn out and not make the same mistakes we did growing up. That their life will be wonderful and free from problems and everything will be just right for them. We want so much for them, not always able to put into words those wishes and all of that love. 

She has overcome so many obstacles in her life, being for the most part a single mom, college, work and a long list of things that always seem to bombard all of us that we hope and pray will spare our children. I remember being totally awed that she painted her house, (on the outside) by herself...something I would have found way too overwhelming to tackle. 

As I move into my 'autumn years' I realize how much I would have loved to tell her, things I wish we could have done together. I also know how much I have missed over the years and realize I cannot have any of that time back. I look at my own mother, soon to be 81 and wonder if she felt any or all of what I do about my daughter. 

Life passes all too quickly and we do the best we can at the time and pray that what we do is the best thing. I would love to have more time with her, do more things with her... but life seems to get in the way. I know she is dealing with her own doubts and insecurities about her daughter, probably going through some of the same emotional things I am about her. 

As I walk down this memory lane, I hope that she is having the best birthday ever and wish we could have spent it together. I wish her a wonderful birthday and a fantastic year ahead and that I love her very much. 

Monday, April 4, 2016

One of those days

I am definitely having one of those days. I would love it to be a day of silence, but, I have a ton of things to do and I am still trying to 'get moving'. 

We ended up getting around 5" of snow yesterday, just when I thought maybe I could get out in the yard and do some work. Back to shoveling, snow boots and winter coat. I am so over winter, yet it keeps showing back up. 

It reminds me of the upstairs. I go up, work for a couple of hours trying to find some space; but each time I go up I feel like I am back where I started. I joined a group on facebook called 40 bags in 40 days. I actually got rid of 53 bags so far... and yes, I can see a small dent, but the rooms are still not usable for either crafts or sleeping. I need enough space to be able to shift all of the items so I can find what I want and know where everything is...and have space to work. It will happen but not in the time frame I want, which is today. 

Maybe I need a day of silence. Get the priorities where they need to be for me. I am not even sure what they are and where they should be. Like all things in life, they change daily in different areas. I hope you are having a good day. I have to just have faith the day will improve. 

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Nourishing your Soul

What nourishes your soul? Have you ever given it any thought? I did. When I first moved to France I realized that I needed nature to do that. Animals, trees, water, flowers, crickets, frogs... sights, sounds and smells. The smell of the earth out in the woods. Gardening. 

I tried taking photos, having houseplants, walking through parks but it just was not the same. I needed quiet with nature sounds. The best substitute I could find were some of those nature sound CD's and listening to them during quiet meditation time. 

We each have a soul that needs something only you can know and give. But we have to listen to our inner voice that tells us what we need. Listen to and follow that voice. It will lead you to peace within. 

Saturday, April 2, 2016

I have to say, I feel like this is talking to me.  I was just looking at what I had posted the last couple of times and thought... "OMG, I am so behind on this, but life has just gotten in the way." To my own defense I do have a house and yard to take care of, still digging through boxes and getting rid of things. Up until 2 weeks ago mom was living here, but she fell, broke her leg (at 80!) and is now in a nursing home to heal and rehabilitate. So I spend a couple hours a day there. The house was too quiet with her gone so ended up going to the local animal control and picked up 2 cats and a dog, bringing the pet total to 6 if you count the 2 birds. I am also trying to get into my crafts again, both to make and sell which takes time. 

Life is always calling us... often in many directions at the same time. Are we listening? Do we take time to notice the birds singing? The leaves coming out in the spring... rustling in the breeze, turning in the fall and falling, the changes all around us each day? 

Today the snow if falling, I noticed the floors need a good vacuuming, laundry is piling up again but I also noticed that I am at peace with a purring cat or a dog asleep in my lap while I read a chapter in a good book. I am thankful for what God provides and that mom is healing, that I woke up feeling good and life may not always be calling the way I want, but it is definitely calling!!