Reality often sucks. What a way to start the post, but it often does. I look at commercials, magazines, Facebook, it seems all have it together for the dress up for Easter morning, family dinner, house is clean, eggs are colored... Me? None of the above. Often I have enough problems figuring out what to make for a regular lunch and then dinner without it being a special one. I will get to church, I hope, but beyond that, zilch. Life got complicated when mom got dementia and moved in. Then another step down when she broke her leg and doesn't get around well at all. We will skip the incontinence problems.

Last year, the end of  February I had to put my little dog down. March 18 mom fell and broke her leg. We now have more help with her, but that means more people in and out while I am trying to get other things done. This year, her little dog died this month on the 10th. Then the next day she fell. Luckily for all of us she was okay. I had horrible flash backs to last year and feeling like it was happening all over again. This year she can't get into the van. I can't get 2 wheelchairs into the car. (SIGH.) Thought how wonderful it would be not to worry about cooking a special dinner for the day. I have already realized no candy, no cards, no colored eggs. Easter just missed me this year with the exception of meatless/fasting Fridays which should have clued me in that it was coming. It didn't.

Overdid working in the garden and pulling things out of the basement. Hurt the back again. Was in to the chiropractor 2 days in a row last week. I really think I have gotten old without realizing it. Body does not cooperate with speed or stamina. Age has always been a number for me. I think it is sinking that number means getting old.

I NEED that fairy godmother. Zap, clean house. Zap, garden/yard is cleaned and going. Zap, special dinner. Zap, massage for the aching back. So, yes, right now reality sucks. That all said, I hope you have a Happy Easter. Eat some chocolate for me, I forgot to buy any. Zap.

Status quo

The garden is in. The yard is coming along. Two summers of working hard to try and 'catch up' are showing results. I wish I could say more for the house. I still have boxes that need to be gone through and gotten rid of as there is still way TOO much stuff here.

 Mom has been in the nursing home since March 23. She will be home July 1. The routine of the house has changed since she was here and will have to change again when she returns. Right now I don't bother with meals at regular times, sleeping at regular times, I can run all errands in a single day because I don't have to worry about her being alone (which she cannot be). All that will change and a fairly rigid routine will again be put in place. 

She has dementia. Dementia demands a routine or problems arise. I like routines for short periods. Not everyday, all day, all week, all month. I like change, surprise, flexibility to move the schedule. Not when she is home. I did not realize how much of a schedule was in place until it was at least 1 1/2 months after she was gone I was still doing the same things. When I realized that, all changed! The type and number of animals in the house changed. Meals changed. Cleaning routines changed. Almost everything I can think of changed. I think I may have caused myself more problems by changing so much because when she is back, it needs to be the old routine or close to it. 

Perhaps I will find comfort in the old routines and actually accomplish more in short periods. No more of this working for days to get something I really wanted done completed and them being sore and tired for a couple days after. I am not sure how productive that type of working really is. So...with the routines will return a certain status quo. I hope the peace comes with it.