Of course none of us are perfect but don't we always think they are when they are so tiny and dependent? We worry if we will do the right thing, pray they will turn out and not make the same mistakes we did growing up. That their life will be wonderful and free from problems and everything will be just right for them. We want so much for them, not always able to put into words those wishes and all of that love.
She has overcome so many obstacles in her life, being for the most part a single mom, college, work and a long list of things that always seem to bombard all of us that we hope and pray will spare our children. I remember being totally awed that she painted her house, (on the outside) by herself...something I would have found way too overwhelming to tackle.
As I move into my 'autumn years' I realize how much I would have loved to tell her, things I wish we could have done together. I also know how much I have missed over the years and realize I cannot have any of that time back. I look at my own mother, soon to be 81 and wonder if she felt any or all of what I do about my daughter.
Life passes all too quickly and we do the best we can at the time and pray that what we do is the best thing. I would love to have more time with her, do more things with her... but life seems to get in the way. I know she is dealing with her own doubts and insecurities about her daughter, probably going through some of the same emotional things I am about her.
As I walk down this memory lane, I hope that she is having the best birthday ever and wish we could have spent it together. I wish her a wonderful birthday and a fantastic year ahead and that I love her very much.
