Your story

I am not sure I would have believed this in the past, but I do now. Curiously, the more you tell your story the more it seems to help as well as you work through things with the telling. There were stories that I could not get through without crying in the past. Now, only the recent hurts bring tears, the older things I can talk about freely. 

When you tell your story there is always someone who relates with it and you help by telling. Something else I would not have believed in the past was there were others who had gone through what I have. Not only are there others who have gone through the same thing, you can always find someone who has gone through something even worse. 

So when you think you are all alone and there is not anyone who will understand, WRONG.  There is someone out there who will understand and you are never alone. It may take some work to find them, find a support group, talk with your pastor, friends, get that story out. It is part of who you are and if you keep it hidden, you never really know yourself. We not only hide things from others but ourselves as well. How can you really know who you are and become who you are meant to be if you are hiding parts of yourself?

Choosing Happiness

It is interesting how easy a negative thought in the morning can ruin your entire day. They tend to sneak up on you and before you know it you are in a funk. I try and start each morning by getting out of bed and in my sleepy fog, try and find something good to think about while waking up. I take care of the pets, get dressed and get on my pages each morning on FB. Then I try and do at least one blog. My one page, Smoothing Ragged Edges (also a blog the same but with different posts) is all entirely positive. That is really where I get my mind in order and try and keep it there for the day. A few days ago I posted a post about enjoying the journey. It helped me through that day as I had a trip for the day to make. Yesterday, I was in a hurry to get things done and the subject of lunch came up. I really wanted to go home and work in the yard, but the thought came through, "enjoy the journey"... so we went to lunch. Had a great lunch and I relaxed, laughed and had a great time and a great rest of the day. Nothing got done except the errands but I did enjoy the day. When I saw this post this morning I thought about yesterday and decided, yes, we can choose happiness if we let ourselves. I hope something that I have related to you today helps you in choosing happiness for your day!

Peaceful and calming

I kept coming back to this photo as just looking at it brought me some calm. I have a rather long day today and maybe this post is trying to tell me to just go with it, relax, enjoy the day what ever it is. It will make it a better day for all involved if I do that!! I hope this helps you today...

Waiting for life to begin

And what are we waiting for? 

I look back and realize I did not wait for a lot during my life. I was married and had a daughter before 16. I have lived in different places, including Paris France. People thought I was crazy to do some of what I did but I had faith I was being led where I was supposed to go. We can always change course and move in another direction, but we can't undo not doing something. 

So, waiting for??? A special invitation? Make your own!

Enjoy, create, ethics and learning

This single post covers a lot of ground in a very short area. I will say what I think about each area and how it is in my life, I hope you at least think about each in yours.

If we could always enjoy what we do/create, the world would be a much better place and we would be happier. 

I seemed to have my nose stuck in a book a lot of the time, when it was not, I was outside exploring nature around me. Probably why I need it in my life now. 

The friends? I was never one to make a lot of friends. I seem to make them on line easy enough... but not in real life. I tend to push people away. Partly because my BS meter is non-tolerant. Partly because I expect people to do what they say and if they don't, well...I don't stick around for a lot more. I also say what I think which often gets me in lots of hot water. I don't have a great filter before it exits the mouth I guess. 

Ethical... yes. Speak the truth, be a good example, follow your faith. I really don't need to continue, you get the idea.

Never stop learning. If we do anything other than set in a dark room and do nothing we should always be picking up something. TV is full of things to learn, books, outside, our jobs...our life in general. Often we don't pay attention that we are learning, or maybe we are not 'seeing or hearing' to learn. 

Yes, a great deal was said in a very small space...and what did you think?

Prayer and positive attitude!

Ok, I would like a miracle as well, but I am pretty sure that is not going to happen, thus, I need the prayer because I really need the positive attitude! 

A vicious circle. Easy to stay positive when all is going well and things are good. Let things go wrong and that positive attitude disappears quickly enough. I will admit I try. Even when things are going wrong, I stop and try and find something good that is going on. 

Then are those moments when I feel like everything is just piling up, all I have to do is huge and I am not making any headway, barely treading water. I am sick of doing the same things, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, taking care of everything and everyone...where is someone to take care of me? Do I let them when they try? Or am I wanting them to do something else. Not the thing they are offering to do to help, but no, I have that, something else. 

Where are you at in this circle?  Any of this sound familiar??

Unfolding

Are you a fixer? A peacemaker? I am. It has taken a lot of years and a lot of practice to let things unfold and not trying to fix something. I still have my moments of fixing...hoping things will be better. It is also very frustrating to just let things unfold. Often it takes much more faith than I have at that moment. Another place that I need to work on, faith. Some days it just is easier than others. Today my friends, is not one of them.

Moments

I was sitting here looking through all different posts trying to think what to write about. Then I saw this one. (Laughing) I still don't have something to write about, but it did stop me and push my thoughts in all directions. 

How do you talk about moments that you cannot put into words? Do you ever have a smell bring about a memory, or moment if you want to compare the two? A texture that reminds you of other memories? See someone that reminds you of someone else or another time? A song is often attached to a 'moment'. 

Our lives are filled with moments... but how many moments are missed because we are too busy to notice something or our minds are elsewhere and we go through the day as if in a fog. When I see the phrase "Live each moment as if it were your last" or "Stop and smell the roses" I am jarred into realizing I am far from doing that. I feel like I have often lost whole days, or look back and wonder where the month went. 

I think we all need to slow down 'somehow' and make more of our moments count. I am sure if we did that, we would have many more moments that we could not put into words. My goal is to at least try and catch more moments each day...before it is too late. What about you?

A special day today

Today is my daughter's birthday.  It doesn't seem possible that 47 years ago at 6:47 p.m. a perfect little girl was born weighing 8 pounds and 9 oz, 22 inches long. I can still remember that first time holding her and how special her father and I thought she was (and still is). She was my only child and she in turn gave us a perfect granddaughter. 

Of course none of us are perfect but don't we always think they are when they are so tiny and dependent?  We worry if we will do the right thing, pray they will turn out and not make the same mistakes we did growing up. That their life will be wonderful and free from problems and everything will be just right for them. We want so much for them, not always able to put into words those wishes and all of that love. 

She has overcome so many obstacles in her life, being for the most part a single mom, college, work and a long list of things that always seem to bombard all of us that we hope and pray will spare our children. I remember being totally awed that she painted her house, (on the outside) by herself...something I would have found way too overwhelming to tackle. 

As I move into my 'autumn years' I realize how much I would have loved to tell her, things I wish we could have done together. I also know how much I have missed over the years and realize I cannot have any of that time back. I look at my own mother, soon to be 81 and wonder if she felt any or all of what I do about my daughter. 

Life passes all too quickly and we do the best we can at the time and pray that what we do is the best thing. I would love to have more time with her, do more things with her... but life seems to get in the way. I know she is dealing with her own doubts and insecurities about her daughter, probably going through some of the same emotional things I am about her. 

As I walk down this memory lane, I hope that she is having the best birthday ever and wish we could have spent it together. I wish her a wonderful birthday and a fantastic year ahead and that I love her very much.